


swedish fish

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-19
Updated: 2011-07-19
Packaged: 2019-01-28 00:23:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12593900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Massu makes gyoza. Shit gets real.





	swedish fish

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for je_fqfest 2011.

Something feels off as Yamapi stumbles down the hallway, his eyes still most of the way closed, but he smells coffee and doesn’t have  _that_  bad of a hangover, so he isn’t too worried.

The sounds of faint snores greet him as he pads out to the kitchen, and then he remembers. He had invited the rest of NEWS over last night to hang out before he returned to his world tour. Things must have really gotten out of hand, he thinks as he manages to pry his eyes open enough to pour a cup of coffee. Usually they don’t drink that much when they’re together.

Yamapi frowns as it occurs to him that they hadn’t drank at all last night. Massu had found this special gyoza recipe on the Internet and wanted to make it for them, which they ate while watching random movies and catching up. Yamapi recalls the gyoza specifically; it was delicious. He wonders if there’s any left over for breakfast.

He sits at the table to drink his coffee, savoring the pleasant taste as it wakes him up. Once he’s able to focus, he peers into the other room to see the sofa bed pulled out with three bodies crashed on it, striped by the rays of early morning light sneaking in through the blinds. Another had fallen asleep curled up in the armchair, and the fifth was probably on the other side of Yamapi’s bed – now that he thinks about it, that wasn’t a pillow he was clinging to as he woke up.

What he does notice, at least what his eyes show him, is that they’re all girls.

Calmly he sips his coffee, assessing the situation. Maybe he’s dreaming. A quick pinch to his thigh derails that theory, leaving him wincing at the reality of it. His eyes could be playing tricks on him? He closes them tightly, waits a few seconds, then opens them again. Still girls.

Luckily, Jin chooses that moment to walk into the kitchen, much more awake than his confused roommate. If Yamapi didn’t know any better, he’d think Jin had just gotten up early and set the coffee, but he  _does_  know Jin, well enough to know that he hasn’t been to sleep yet.

“Do you see girls in the living room?” he asks, his voice groggy and low.

Jin glances to the left, his shuffled footsteps slowing to a halt as he takes in the sight. “… Yes.”

Yamapi grunts, returning to his coffee and taking a long sip. Somehow he’s already drained the whole cup.

“Are they yours?” he asks next.

“What?” Jin exclaims, looking offended as he turns toward Yamapi. “If they were mine, they would be in my be-  _oh, my god_.”

Yamapi blinks at him, rolling his eyes as he takes in Jin’s completely shocked expression. “They’re not mine, either! Since you’re up, get me a refill.”

Wordlessly, Jin picks up the cup and manages to walk to the coffee maker without taking his eyes off of Yamapi. “You feeling okay, Pi?”

“Yes?” Yamapi guesses. “I feel a little like I drank last night, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t.”

“When I got home earlier, NEWS were in the same spots as those girls,” Jin says slowly as he sets a full cup of coffee in front of Yamapi’s face. It’s made with just the right amount of cream and sugar, and Yamapi loves Jin a little right now. “Except for one,” Jin adds. “The one Nakamaru likes. With the creepy grin.”

“Ah, Massu’s probably the one in my bed,” Yamapi thinks out loud. “Odd arrangement, but he doesn’t seem to mind being a pillow.”

Jin wrinkles his nose. “Keep your member love to yourself, please.”

“Hater,” Yamapi says affectionately. He watches Jin over the rim of his cup as he drinks more, picks up on the fumbling and delay in coordination that comes with fatigue, and frowns in concern. “You should go to sleep.”

“I should,” Jin agrees, making no effort to move. Instead, he keeps gaping at Yamapi. “You know you’re a girl too, right?”

Yamapi blinks again, then looks down at his pajama top. His chest looks the same, but now that Jin mentions it, there’s definitely something missing between his legs. And his hair seems heavier on his head; he reaches up to grab a strand and hold it out. It goes out pretty far.

“Wow,” he says, and even his voice sounds higher now that he’s more awake.

“Only you would turn into a girl and not notice,” Jin mutters as he rubs his eyes. “I’m going to bed before this dream gets seriously weird and we, like, have sex or something.”

As Yamapi watches him leave, shirtless with his pants hanging low enough to show his hipbones, he doesn’t think that’s very weird at all.

 

~*~

Despite the two cups of coffee, Yamapi has no problem going back to sleep. Jin might be on to something here; maybe when he wakes up again, his hair will be shorter and his penis will be back. He doesn’t use his penis very often, usually too tired to even jerk off anymore, but he’s gotten used to having it there. He feels a little lost without it.

But when he wakes up, there is still an empty space between his legs and a pile of black hair in his face. There’s also someone sitting on the other side of the bed, staring down at him from a chubby face framed by waves of gold and brown.

“‘Morning,” he – she – says, folding her arms over her chest. Her voice is low for a girl, but her male counterpart’s had been quite deep to begin with. “Everyone else left.”

“Left?” Yamapi inquires, yawning as he stretches out onto his back. He cringes as he rolls over onto his hair, his shirt riding up as he arches his back.

Now his friend’s eyes have moved lower. “They all have their own places. Well, except Koyama, but his mom is really open-minded. I can’t go home like this. My father will have a heart attack, and then my mom will be sad.”

“You can stay here,” Yamapi says immediately. “I don’t mind at all.”

Massu grins, and it’s just as bright as when she’s a boy. “Thanks, Pi.”

There’s a long list of things that Yamapi should be concerned with. His tour, for one thing. He can’t sing his songs with a feminine voice, even if he suspects they may sound a little better that way. He should also be worrying about how to get girl clothes that fit, particularly a bra. Realistically speaking, he should be trying to figure out  _how_  they changed in the first place, along with how to change them back. But Yamapi’s been blessed with a special brand of logic, one that has him focus on what he feels is the important point of the whole situation, and thus he leans up on his elbows and peers at Massu.

“Are you attracted to men now?” he asks seriously.

Massu tears her eyes away from Yamapi’s bare abdomen, blinks, and appears thoughtful as she considers the question. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen any since I’ve been like this.”

Yamapi grunts in understanding, then reaches down to grab his own breasts. “You would think they’d be bigger.”

“I think they’re perfect,” Massu says, then blushes red as she looks down at her knees. “I mean, they go with your body frame… and stuff.”

“Yeah,” Yamapi says slowly. “I guess you’re right. Yours are pretty big, though.”

Now Massu completely hides her face. “Yeah.”

“Massu?” Yamapi pokes her in the leg. One brown eye peeks up at him, looking misty. Yamapi swallows hard; he’s never been good with crying girls. “Are you okay?”

“Can I take a shower?” is all she says.

Yamapi nods, and Massu takes off like she was shot out of a cannon. He notices her ass swish enticingly in her sleep pants and frowns to himself. First he wants Jin, who is male, and now he’s eyeballing Massu, who is female. His new hormones must be confused, or just not picky.

He lays there for awhile, exploring this new body of his and squirming at nearly every touch. The female version of him is quite sensitive, he learns. He doesn’t even finish reacquainting himself with his own chest before he’s completely and inexplicably turned on. If he even looks down his shorts, he may have to get off right there. After he figures out how to do it, that is.

Girl parts are complicated, he knows from personal experience. And all girls are different. They don’t stay with him long enough for him to get used to how they like it, and the process starts over again with each new one. Yamapi has found that it just saves a lot of frustration to go down on them, because then they can aim him themselves instead of hissing directions in his ear. The actual sex part is simple, but Yamapi has learned the hard way that that isn’t enough.

His clit twitches at the thought, mocking him from between his legs. He could probably do it right to  _himself_ , he reasons, glancing over toward the door as he tries to determine exactly how long Massu has been in the shower. She took long showers as a boy, he remembers. But something isn’t settling right with him. Something tells him Massu is upset.

This feeling of intuition is so foreign that he doesn’t know what to do at first; apparently his female hormones are making him more aware of other people’s emotions. Suddenly he recalls Massu’s uneasiness when she was sitting next to him, the urgency with which she raced out of the room – Yamapi’s on his feet in an instant, tripping across the hallway and pressing against the bathroom door rather ungracefully.

Mixed in with the water is the undeniable sound of sobbing.

“Massu,” he calls out, and the sobbing abruptly ceases. “I’m coming in.”

It’s okay because they’re both girls, he tells himself. It was okay when they were boys, too, even if Massu was more reluctant to go to a public bath or shower with the rest of them. He was just modest, which seems to have transferred over into his female counterpart as Yamapi peeks around the shower curtain to find her covering herself with both arms.

“What’s wrong, Massu?” Yamapi asks carefully. “I’ve never seen you cry before.”

“I don’t know,” she replies. Tears stream down her face along with the water, and right now Yamapi thinks she’s kind of beautiful. “I just have all of these  _feelings_  and this is how they’re coming out.”

Yamapi understands that a little. As a boy, Massu was like a living emoticon. Usually he was happy-go-lucky, but he tended to get very frustrated when things didn’t go his way. Yamapi imagines that suddenly turning into a girl wasn’t on his list of things to do today. While boy-Massu would have gone to the gym to work off the tension, girl-Massu cries in the shower. It’s the first thing all day that has made sense.

“I’m coming in,” Yamapi repeats, flinging his clothes off and stepping into the shower before Massu can stop him. He catches her glancing down again, then squeezing her eyes shut in shame. “It’s okay, you can look.”

She looks up at him, her eyes red and scared. “I am so confused right now.”

“Me too,” Yamapi admits. “I can’t decide if I want you or Jin, and I have no idea how to untangle my hair.”

Massu stares at him in some sort of awe. “I will never understand your logic. As either gender.”

Then she kisses him. Yamapi’s almost knocked off balance by the shock, soft lips pressing against his as the drops of water get trapped between their chests. Hard nipples brush against his own and Yamapi’s reminded of his arousal, his entire body feeling like it’s on fire as he grabs for Massu’s waist and pulls her closer.

The water sprays on both of their heads, running down their faces as Yamapi returns the kiss wholeheartedly and licks his way into Massu’s mouth. He can’t say for certain if it feels different as a girl because he’s never kissed Massu before; for all he knows, Massu’s lips were that soft as a boy. It definitely  _feels_  like Massu, though. Massu always put one hundred percent of himself into everything he did without holding back, and clearly kissing is no different.

It’s Yamapi who’s backed up against the tile wall first, too overcome by the sensations flooding his body to battle Massu’s strength. His thighs spread, one foot sliding up Massu’s calf to hook around her knee, and Yamapi notices that neither one of them has leg hair. It’s the strangest feeling to be skin to skin, particularly on his inner thigh that rubs against Massu’s hip, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling of Massu’s fingers touching him.

His moan is barely audible, muffled by Massu’s tongue, but he knows Massu can feel it because she gets bolder in her actions, sliding her fingers steadily up Yamapi’s thigh until she reaches foreign territory. Yamapi’s fairly certain Massu has been with a girl before, although they’ve never talked about it, and Yamapi gives a little roll of his hips to tell him it’s okay. It’s more than okay, really, but he doesn’t want to come off as too needy.

That intention goes right down the drain when Massu slips two fingers inside him and Yamapi’s body rocks on its own. He gasps into Massu’s mouth and pushes back against the touch, riding Massu’s hand as much as she’s moving into him. He reaches for one of her breasts, not just to touch it but to rub her nipple against his, which intensifies his pleasure to the point where he starts to fall apart.

His orgasm takes him by surprise, spreading through every single one of his nerves while at the same time he’s still left wanting more. But then Massu’s fingers fall from him and Yamapi pulls back, struggling through his haze to look at Massu’s flushed cheeks and predatory eyes.

“My turn,” she practically growls, her voice husky with lust as she grabs Yamapi’s wrist.

“I’m bad at his,” he tells her honestly, giving her an apologetic kiss before dropping to his knees.

This part is familiar, although he’s never done it in the shower before. Massu must be really worked up, because Yamapi urges her legs open with no resistance, and within no time she’s bucking against his face and moaning with every breath. Both of her hands twist in Yamapi’s hair and it hurts a little, but he just keeps licking the swollen bump that emerges to meet his tongue. He holds her steady with one hand, palm cupping the curve of her ass while the other twists two fingers inside her, curling them and pushing them in and out in contrast with the rolls of her body.

Then she screams, thighs trembling on either side of Yamapi’s head, her muscles tightening around Yamapi’s fingers and now more than ever he wishes he had his penis, so he could pick her up and fuck her against the wall while the water pounds down on them.

“Oh, god,” Massu gasps, nearly falling over as she tries to straighten up and clutches onto Yamapi’s rising form instead. “Girls are so lucky.”

Yamapi can’t agree more.

 

~*~

Jin’s sitting in the hallway when they finally emerge, his knees pulled to his chest as he averts his eyes from the two giggling, towel-clad girls.

 

“Do you have any idea how much torture this is for me?” Jin asks the floor. “I don’t live with a girl for a reason!”

Massu pulls her towel more tightly around her, looking down so her wet hair hides her face, but Yamapi pulls her by the arm to kneel by Jin. “Being a girl is awesome!” he tells his pained best friend. “Once we figure out how it happened, you should totally do it, too. The orgasms are mind-blowing.”

“I hate you so much,” Jin mumbles. “Can you at least get  _dressed_?”

It takes a second, but then Yamapi’s newfound female intuition kicks in and he peers at Jin’s lap.  _Of course_. Two girls diddling each other in the shower is something straight out of a porno – obviously Jin would be affected by it. Yamapi thinks they own that exact movie in their secret hidden suitcase of adult videos.

“I don’t have any girl clothes,” he answers honestly. Next to him, Massu’s hair nods.

“I’ll go buy you some,” Jin offers, sounding desperate. “Anything, just. Go away.”

“You could have gone to your room,” Yamapi tells him. “Not sit out here in the hallway like a creeper.”

“I  _can’t move_ ,” Jin whines. He leans his head back, wincing as it slams against the wall, and turns toward Yamapi with pleading eyes. “Just give me ten minutes alone, and for the love of god, don’t moan anymore.”

Massu’s throat clearing earns both of their attention, and her face is an even brighter red as she parts her hair to address the other two. “It would be okay to experience that as a girl, too.”

“Experience what,” both Jin and Yamapi reply at an equally as fast speed.

“You know.” Massu tries to gesture with her hand, then sighs. “With a man.”

Jin stares at her like she’s a mirage, but Yamapi frowns. He doesn’t understand why, but he doesn’t want Massu going anywhere near Jin. Before he can speak his mind, though, Massu shoves past him to approach Jin, the latter’s legs lowering to accept her crawling on top of him. Her towel becomes a casualty, a brief wave of embarrassment crossing her features before Jin’s hand lifts to cup her breast and she leans down to kiss him.

Contrary to popular opinion, Jin and Yamapi aren’t the type of friends who get intimate in front of each other. Jerking off to porn together was one thing, but making out with their girlfriends in the same room was about as far as it went in that direction, each couple retreating to a private location before going any further. Yamapi has known Jin for well over a decade, but this is the first time he’s seeing him like this, completely aroused from Yamapi and Massu’s little shower escapade as well as Massu’s naked female body straddling him now. She’s whispering something to him and he’s reaching for the waistband of his pants, pushing it down enough to expose a fully hard, thick erection, and Yamapi’s still trying to process his thoughts when Massu drops down on it.

Jin’s noises are beautiful, little moans that still manage to sound masculine despite the high pitch. He lays back on the floor and pulls Massu with him, the latter rocking back and forth as she accepts Jin inside her over and over again. Jin’s face fills with color and fuck, he’s gorgeous like this, Yamapi’s skin tingling with his own arousal from watching him in the throes of passion.

Massu tears her mouth away to sit up, riding him properly, and Jin’s head falls to the side. His eyes meet Yamapi’s and all at once Yamapi recognizes that feeling that’s driving him to disapprove of the two of them together.

It’s jealousy.

His first instinct is to shove Massu off of him and hop on himself, but that wouldn’t be very nice and besides, he knows that Massu doesn’t have any feelings for Jin. They don’t even really like each other, which is evident from the completely detached way they’re fucking, focusing on nothing but how it feels for themselves. Massu’s using him as an experiment and Jin’s using her to get laid. Hot as it is, it’s completely void of any emotion.

Yamapi finds himself leaning over Jin, looking at him from a closer angle, and he squeals when Jin grabs him by the hair and crushes their mouths together. He feels Jin’s impatience in his kiss, breath panting and tongue swirling from the tension, and already it’s much different than kissing Massu. Yamapi starts to lose himself in the repetitive contact of their lips and tongue, sometimes even their teeth when Jin jerks particularly roughly and Massu groans in the distance.

Fingers poke between Yamapi’s legs and they have to be Jin’s, confidently slipping inside him and touching him like he knows what he’s doing. His thumb rubs circles on Yamapi’s clit and he undulates against it, crying out into Jin’s mouth because he hasn’t come like this yet.

“On my face,” Jin orders, and Yamapi doesn’t hesitate for one second.

He sits facing Massu, watching her bounce up and down on Jin’s cock while he starts to shudder from Jin’s tongue. It’s  _perfect_ and Jin’s hands are gentle on his thighs, holding him still as he reacts involuntarily. This is nothing at all like getting a blowjob, and he ends up falling towards Massu who catches him by the arms, holding him up at the same height as her breasts. Yamapi’s mouth latches onto one of them, tongue flicking the nipple and Massu freezes, a firm grunt sounding between Yamapi’s legs as Jin thrusts up into Massu until Massu rolls off of him.

Now Jin whines, pushing up against nothing, and Massu looks apologetic as she squeezes her legs together and winces. “It was starting to hurt,” she says in defense.

Yamapi glances down at Jin’s cock just laying there on his hip, glistening with Massu’s juices, and it’s easy to lay down on Jin’s torso and flick the tip with his tongue. Jin moans something inaudible, his licking quickening as Yamapi gradually slurps him past his lips. It’s not too bad – Massu’s taste makes it easier, because Yamapi’s never done this before and he’s grateful for the comfort of something female. He seems to be doing well, judging by the way Jin squirms beneath him, and he’s so preoccupied with his sucking that he doesn’t notice his own release sneaking up until it shocks him again, his clit pulsing against Jin’s tongue while his inner muscles contract.

“Up,” Jin says suddenly, and Yamapi lifts his head in confusion. Maybe he isn’t doing it right after all.

Jin unceremoniously shoves him off, and Yamapi’s upset for the half a second it takes for Jin to throw him to the floor, rolling on top of him and settling between his spreading legs.

“This is okay, right?” Jin asks in a small voice, one that tells Yamapi that he’ll stop if Yamapi says the word.

Yamapi just nods, unable to speak as Jin sighs gratefully and pushes inside him. He fuses his mouth to Yamapi’s and everything else fades away into nothing; Massu, the rest of the world, even life as he knows it takes a backseat to here and now, Jin inside him and all around him as they move together as one. Yamapi’s still tight from his orgasm and feels every inch of Jin’s deep thrusts, the tension heightened by each touch of their tongues. Yamapi twists his fingers into Jin’s hair, the resulting groan vibrating on his tongue, and then Jin’s pounding into him, fucking him into the floor and swallowing his shill cry as he comes again.

“Tomo,” Jin’s whisper pierces through the numbness of Yamapi’s mind, followed by a low growl as he feels Jin let go inside him.

Eventually he returns to reality, but he can’t move at all. On his back with Jin on top of him in their own hallway, he has no desire to push him away and welcomes the following kiss that is completely void of sexual charge and solely emotional.

He doesn’t even remember about Massu until he smells something cooking from the kitchen.

 

~*~

A week later, all of NEWS are still girls and Yamapi can’t put off the inevitable anymore.

 

“I have to go to Korea tomorrow,” he tells them all. “We have to figure out what happened and reverse it.”

Looking out at the five others, he’s fairly certain that they’ve had an interesting week as girls, too. A very blonde Koyama has Tegoshi in her lap, braiding her hair while Shige seethes and Ryo punches Shige for being a tense pillow.

“I’m fine with staying like this,” Ryo says sleepily. “Eito are fine with it, too.”

“My sister and I are having so much fun,” Koyama tells them happily. “Being a girl is awesome!”

Shige snorts. “Says you.”

“I don’t feel any different,” offers Tegoshi with a shrug.

Just then Massu races into the kitchen, holding up a baggie of something grainy and pink. “I figured it out!” she exclaims.

The girls all talk at once, squealing and asking questions, and Yamapi now understands why Jin flew back to California earlier than scheduled. He silences them all with a raised hand, noticing how Massu looks sheepish as she displays the item.

“Massu?” Yamapi prompts her.

“Um,” she begins. “That gyoza recipe I found called for this stuff. I bought it a long time ago in Sweden and completely forgot about it until I saw it listed on that website.”

“Don’t spices have an expiration date?” Shige demands.

Massu narrows her eyes at the other girl, and Yamapi thinks they need to change back soon before there’s a cat fight in his living room. “Anyway, I Googled it last night, and apparently it’s known to have magical properties. The name even comes from the word ‘unisex’ in Swedish.”

“I remember when you bought that,” Tegoshi says with a smile. “We were fascinated by a pink spice. But weren’t you going to give it to Yamapi as a gift?”

“I think I was,” Massu says slowly. “I must have forgotten that, too!”

“So what do we do now?” Shige asks bitterly. “Eat more gyoza?”

“It’s easier than that,” Massu replies, and pinches a bit of the spice in his fingers. He closes his eyes and sprinkles it over his head, the pink grains glistening from his two-toned hair like sparkles.

“You’re not changing,” Koyama observes.

“It happens at sunrise,” Massu informs her. “At least that’s what the website says. I had to use Google Translate, but I remember enough Swedish to get the gist.”

“I don’t trust this,” Shige mutters. “You or Google Translate.”

“What’s the worst that will happen?” Koyama asks. “You’ll have pink stuff in your hair. It’s worth trying, anyway.”

They all take turns dusting each other with the spice, which Massu immediately seals and places on the counter to take with her when she leaves as a him.

“Let’s have another sleepover,” Yamapi suggests, a little happier now that he won’t have to cancel the rest of his tour. “We can enjoy our last night as girls.”

‘Enjoying’ meant more sexual experimentation, except for Ryo who slept the whole time, although Yamapi suspected she’d gotten in enough experimenting this past week with Eito. Besides, Koyama had brought toys and Yamapi liked the way Shige’s entire body tinted red after she came, even if she was just as much of a bitch as before.

As the dawn breaks on the following morning, Yamapi feels a weight in his pants and grins at the low, masculine noise of contentment he makes.

He still snuggles up to Massu, though. It feels better when the body in his arms is broad and muscled.

> _~*Bonus*~_

Yamapi comes home from Korea to find a girl in his bed. It’s too early for him to really care, so he just slips under the covers and prays she’s not psycho. Awhile later, he awakes with everything still attached, but opens his eyes to big brown ones peering at him.

“Jesus Christ, Jin,” he mutters after jumping about a mile. “Must you be so creepy?”

Jin giggles. Actually  _giggles_ , girlishly like he’s sixteen again and Yamapi attacked his collarbones. Only it’s ten years later and Jin’s hair is much longer than it was a few weeks ago, even if his face is basically the same.

“Welcome back,” Jin’s feminine voice says. “Guess what I found in the back of the cupboard?”

Yamapi rubs his eyes. “How did you know what it was?”

“I know how to Google,” Jin tells him pointedly. “Now wake up, you owe me.”

She giggles again when Yamapi rolls over on top of her, dipping his hand in her panties and he’s hard in two seconds. He slides the fabric down her legs and then he’s inside her, groaning and thrusting faster with each one of Jin’s breathy moans. Nails rake down his back as Jin trembles beneath him, building up to an explosive orgasm that nearly deafens Yamapi when Jin shrieks right in his ear.

An hour later, he dumps the rest of the baggie on Jin’s head and makes sure to vacuum up all of the loose grains. They spend the rest of the day lazing around and watching movies, having sex at random intervals, and when Yamapi wakes up in the morning, he smiles into Jin’s much shorter hair and holds him close.

He’s had enough girls to last him a lifetime.


End file.
